Reflections of Resurrection Joy
by Judith MacNutt
taken from the May 1994 issue

Francis and I were praying with people at a healing service, several years ago. It was the last evening of a five-day conference on prayer. The Holy Spirit was moving in a very gentle way, touching deep areas of pain in the people. One lady in her fifties came slowly to the front of the church and bowed her head before us. She said nothing. I had the feeling that words could never convey the loss and pain she carried.

I had noticed her sorrowful face for several days. Her pained expression never changed during the teachings. When others laughed or wept she remained motionless, unresponsive. She appeared to be drained of life, as though a switch had been turned off within her. We laid our hands gently on her head, as we asked the Lord to heal the source of pain so deeply embedded within her heart. Suddenly I felt the Holy Spirit surround us with the loving presence of the Father. Looking down I saw a tear streak down her face, followed by yet another. Soon she was sobbing without restraint, as a young child would. Deep, ancient grief that had been covered over for many years was finding release. Only in that safe place protected by the Spirit of God could she finally allow the pain to surface.

She remained deep in prayer for over an hour, while we continued praying with other hurting people. I was aware of her sobbing each time we moved near her. My initial reaction was to go back to her, to hold and comfort her, as I have done hundreds of times when the Lord so directed me. This time, when I asked the Lord, "Should I go over and hold her?" the answer seemed to be, "No, I am holding Susan; she needs my love." Near the end of the service, I heard someone softly giggling (sounding like a child). In a few minutes the giggling was followed by an explosion of laughter! We turned to find out what was so funny and saw Susan doubled over with glorious joy!

The most beautiful sound on earth; it was the laughter of being healed, cherished, freed! Later Susan came over to us (still laughing) and enveloped us in her arms! She couldn't speak because she couldn't stop laughing, but the joy of her radiant face said it all! When she left us she made her way to the back of the church, laughing and hugging everyone as she went! A major miracle had occurred that evening in Susan's life. We found out later that as a small child she had been a victim of incest and was left emotionally devastated. She remembered as a little girl making a decision never to trust anyone again...and to never feel again. She had turned off her emotions! That evening, God began a deep emotional healing in Susan, freeing her from the broken, painful memories of incest. In the presence of her loving heavenly Father, Susan was immersed in God's love and was given the gift of joy. As Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount, "Happy are you who weep now; you shall laugh," (Luke 6:21, Living Bible). Friends told us later that Susan's joy has continued on as God has been turning her tears into laughter! David proclaims in the Psalms, "In the evening come tears, but with dawn cries of joy." God's own joy has filled those bleak areas of Susan's heart where sorrow had ruled until that glorious night of prayer. Bishop Oscar Romero said to the suffering people of El Salvador, "Jesus liberates us from our fears, from despair and sorrow, from anger and hatred, from bitterness and a vengeful and unforgiving spirit. He is the joyful and loving healer who liberates every person who reaches out to him from sickness of the soul. There is no wound that he cannot heal; no sorrow that he cannot turn into joy."