Healing Line

Healing Line

Ask Judith

by Judith MacNutt
August 1993

At our conferences many people ask about Satanic Ritual Abuse and how people are healed from it's effects. The following is a beautiful testimony about how one victim was freed. The story illustrates several key points in ministering to the SRA victim.

Key Points & Questions

  • How much prayer ministry is necessary? How long does it take to be healed?
    The prayer and counseling often take months — or years.
  • How sensitive and discerning do we need to be in ministering to these SRA victims?
    Note that some "alters" (i.e. different multiple personalities) are integrated into the core of the person, while others must depart. Trying to cast them all out through deliverance can destroy the person's psyche; on the other hand, we usually do not try to integrate them all; some may be harmful or demonic.
  • If the person is truly a victim of Satanic rituals, one or more personalities may be programmed to drive the person to suicide, as in this case, if the person ever decides to open up and talk.

You will notice that this woman had attended a number of our conferences: Vail, CO, Billings, MT, Columbia, SC, and Jacksonville, FL. Truly, she is the persistent seeker, like the woman with the issue of blood, whose faith was rewarded! Her letter reads:

Many pages would be required to go into detail to catch you up on my spiritual journey since I saw you in Vail last year. Your counsel and prayers for me there seemed to break loose some areas within me that had previously been unknown or hidden. After Vail the holidays were extremely difficult for me, especially the Satanic ritual days, such as Halloween. Then, at Christmas, I was taken in restraints from my home after a tragic miscommunication with a caretaker and the arrival of a new and very frightened child personality. I was able to get back in control enough to just spend that one day in the emergency room and managed to avoid further hospitalization. Then/ returned to the therapist with whom I had originally worked during my first hospitalization in April of 1992. (She is a psychiatric nurse who is very able to help me.)

My "inner family" began to trust and tell, which is, as you know, is a very dangerous process for ritual abuse victims. In May the "big secret" was told to her in stages; afterwards, a heavy duty programming and spiritual attack set in, resulting in a well–planned, well–executed and nearly successful suicide attempt. More praises to God here ... He intervened in a mighty way and I was spared. However, that meant another stretch at the treatment center during which time I was able to break through in some important areas.

That was my last hospitalization. Integration had been occurring in singles and in small groups since January. They fell into a beautiful order when I discovered my innermost sanctuary, my spiritual center, that place within me that is God–created and untouched by my perpetrators. Finding that place within and bringing Jesus to my inner family were the keys to the integration process, ( although there was much more involved than just those two elements).

Many times my inner family handled an integration while I watched. To see the Lord Jesus embrace the different personalities, take them into himself and "sift them in his love" has been incredible and awesome to watch. Whatever is pure, innocent, and created holy returns to the center of my being; whatever is not good is taken to the Cross in his Body and I do not have to deal with it any longer. Each "alter" came to Jesus to experience integration by his or her own choice. Some of the children run past Jesus and in joy dissipate in what I see as my spiritual center, and then hundreds of twinkling lights go upward! Oh, the stories I could tell you, but time is the constraint, in my life as in yours.

One of the biggest fears I have had to deal with over the past two years now is the fear of being alone; one of the biggest battles I have had to fight is that of isolation, of hearing inside that I am alone, alone, ALONE ... and that nobody cares, not even God.

When was at Billings (ten months after Vail), the Lord conveyed to me in a deep way that, as long as I am his, I AM NOT alone; so I no longer have that battle. Also, while in Billings, Jesus gave me the specific assurance that I am indeed all in one piece now; and he called me to celebrate my wholeness in him. Then came Columbia, S. C. One special insight came as Francis told the story of the woman who had suffered so terribly with depression. A year later she wrote him a letter saying that, after he had prayed, the sun had come out as it were, and her darkness was lifted. I realized that over the years since I have been coming to Vail, and then to Jacksonville, that is what the two of you have been to me. When I heard you talk and teach my own personal darkness was lifted. The Son shone his light again into my life.

Then came the prayer time on Saturday night. You had both spoken about how we get blocked off from the Fat her' s love, our Abba, whom we all long to know. I knew that I had yearned for that love fora long, long time, and that evening, as I stood listening and praying, I broke through to him, my own personal Abba. I saw in my mind's eye that my way was being blocked by various forms and shapes. I pushed and shoved my way through them with great energy until the shadows burst apart and, though I have few words to describe the event, I know that I ran straight into the Father's arms, into his love. I heard, "You've come home to the Father, all the way home. And you are whole! Rejoice!"

Later, you prayed and I rested in the Spirit. While I was resting, there came a great tightness in my chest and heat. I could barely breathe for it. I called out to God: "What is happening?" The answer came: "I am knitting you together in my love so that you will be certain you are of one piece. " So I waited. In a short while, maybe five minutes I felt it (the heat and tightness) slowly recede. I could draw a deep breath and I think I laughed. It felt so good and I felt so whole.

My doctor says I have been moving at hyper–speed this past eighteen months or so. There has been so much,· some of it is so terrible that I dread even thinking about it, and some so incredible I don't know what to say.

Our God is a big God, so loving, merciful, gentle, giving, and kind. isn't it great!


Judith MacNutt Judith MacNutt is author, teacher, conference speaker and co–founder of CHM. December 1993 Issue