How Much Does God Love You?

by Kathi Smith
Mar/Apr 2009

Do you really know how much God loves you? That was a question I was asked again and again by a certain prayer minister while receiving prayer at CHM. I knew the answer in my head. The Bible told me so. My pastors over the years told me so. So yes, of course I knew/know how much God loves me.

This prayer minister challenged me, and the question stayed with me. I kept on repeating it to myself. After another prayer session with this same prayer minister, she asked the same question again. And again, my heart questioned, "Why does she keep asking that question?"

She knew the answer, but I did not. The simple answer was this: my head knew how much God loves me, but my heart did not. And her question was not an offensive one, because it connected with my spirit and sent me on a journey.

I was paralyzed in fear, anxiety, panic and depression when this journey began. I had childhood wounds that created a belief system about myself and others that did not correlate with God's belief system. "You need to protect yourself because others will hurt you," was one of the bigger lies that I believed. I applied this lie not only to others and my treatment of them, but that lie actually caused me to withdraw from the Holy Spirit in that area of my life. I had made an inner vow of self-control that our polite God was not going to touch with a ten foot pole. After all, I am in charge unless I give Him charge.

As I received truths and was able to break vows of self-control, I was able to release the Holy Spirit into places in my life where He had not been able to flow before. How extraordinary! He replaced my foggy glasses with His more clear view of others.

I had an amazing dream where a long time abuser asked me to forgive Him. The result was that I started to see God as more loving. My constant prayer is "more of You, Holy Spirit," and like David, I ask Him to search my heart and show me where I stray from alignment with Him. This life is a journey toward Him. Freedom for the captives!

A simple prayer to release an inner vow would go like this, "Dear Lord, please forgive me for vowing that I will never let anyone hurt me. I give You control where I have taken control. I ask You to come and flow through me where I have never allowed You in due to that inner vow. Fill me with Your light and life in these places. Thank You. In Jesus' name, Amen."

Please do not use this prayer as a formula, but as a guide. Ask the Holy Spirit to be your guide.

Kathi Smith is the Senior Editor of Healing Line and an active prayer minister and Volunteer at CHM.