Changed from the Very Beginning

I knew this was going to be something really special the moment we began the very first worship song on day one. The tears immediately began to flow, and when the second song started, I felt the presence of Jesus right in front of me! He was right there, arms outstretched, and I heard him say in a quiet voice, “I will heal you.” I nearly broke down, feeling so remorseful about the things in my life that have been displeasing to God. As I prayed quietly and a bit desperately for forgiveness, I actually could see what I knew to be the paper thin walls of my own strength visibly crumbling before Jesus in front of me. I prayed — more like I begged the Lord — to help me surrender more of myself to Him and rest in the stronghold of His great strength. Three songs later, the worship leader, Leslie Royalty, said out loud, “I can see Jesus standing in front of each of you, arms outstretched.” What confirmation!!! Thank you, Jesus!

I specifically asked my prayer ministers to do the conception–to–birth prayer because I knew that my mother was only 3 weeks pregnant with me when her father suddenly died from a massive heart attack. This must have caused her tremendous anxiety during her pregnancy, and I knew also that her mother suffered a nervous breakdown after losing her husband at this time. In addition, I knew that I had an unknown condition at birth that spiked my Bilirubin blood count to 28 (30 would mean brain damage), compelling the doctors to change out my entire blood supply. I felt the Holy Spirit was nudging me to address the trauma issues of my life in the womb. What was to come stunned me.

The prayer for conception and months 1 and 2 were uneventful. In month 3, however, all I could think about was the fact that I was eventually born with an inverted breastbone, a condition whereby the center of my chest is slightly inverted. This caused a great deal of self–consciousness when I was young, as the other boys would tease me when I was forced to go shirtless while swimming or playing “shirts v. skins” type games during gym class. I mentioned this to my prayer ministers, who helped me pray through this issue, and I realized I blamed God for this…for what to me seemed an ugly birth defect, though in reality it’s not very pronounced. Moreover, the prayer ministers soon wound up praying for deliverance from what they discerned to be the spirit of “Self–Consciousness,” which left quietly after I asked God to forgive me for blaming him.

In the month 4 prayers, I felt sharply conflicted, sensing the joy my mother had at knowing she was pregnant with me, but having also a much stronger sense of deep, inexplicable grief. This grief felt bone crushing, and gradually my right arm began shaking, and then kind of flapping around out of my control. Truly! I probably could have forced the arm to stop moving if I tried hard enough, but I was totally surrendered to whatever was happening. After a few minutes of deliverance prayer, a spirit of “Grief” fled from me quietly, much like “Self–Consciousness” had moments before. I learned afterwards from my mother the root of this grief during month 4. Her mother (my grandma) discovered just after her husband died when my mom was 3 weeks pregnant with me that she too was pregnant (but by her own late husband). Losing grandpa devastated her. She sank into deep clinical depression, had a nervous breakdown, and turned to alcohol. What I didn’t know until then was that she tragically decided to abort the child she was carrying rather than to try to raise him in her debilitated state or give him up for adoption. We discerned the deep grief I felt was for this unborn child I never even knew about. What a tragedy for all concerned. I pray I will be able to meet this aborted uncle one day in heaven.

In the month 6 prayers, something dramatic and unexpected occurred. My right arm again began to manifest as the word “Sickness” came into my mind very clearly and in an all–encompassing way. I felt almost as though I was nauseous. My prayer ministers again moved into deliverance mode, commanding “Sickness” to depart from me in the name of Jesus Christ and I began coughing. Then, the shaking spread from my arm to my chest, which felt like it was under some noticeable pressure, and I could feel an unnatural thickness at the base of my throat. I then began without warning to weep uncontrollably, gagging, and ultimately I seized up physically — like an engine that just freezes up — and I was unable for a short time to move, breathe, or do anything whatsoever. Suddenly, the demon of “Sickness” was expelled through my mouth and I could breathe again. Praise God! My mother later explained when I told her about this that in her sixth month of pregnancy my father was exposed to German measles, causing the doctors to give her a powerful vaccine that they would not normally have administered to a pregnant woman, much less to one who was six months along. Doing so today, I suppose, would be unthinkable. I appear to have literally been sick in the womb at this time, and perhaps this opened me up to the demon called “Sickness.” In month 6, I immediately had a strong sense of rushing forward, my life flashing before my eyes in a way that revealed to me on the spot that I have literally been rushing my entire life — rushing to be born, to grow up, to make my own decisions, to take control of everything, to live in my own strength. This revelation moments after the expulsion of “Sickness” led us into still more deliverance prayers, this time to expel the demon called “Control.” My right arm began shaking and flapping around again, I felt pressure rising in my chest, began coughing a bit, and in a moment, I saw through closed eyes what seemed to be dark blobs illuminated against a dark background. I felt the Lord wanted me to open my eyes, now clamped shut even more tightly. After some considerable effort to do so, I managed to open my eyes and was free of this spirit of “Control” as though it left through my open eyes, as strange as that must sound.

What happened next was one of the most overwhelmingly powerful spiritual experiences in my life. My prayer ministers started praying for God to literally breathe His breath into my lungs. I never felt such a purity of air inflating my lungs with every glorious breath, my torso literally rising and falling without any effort on my part other than inhaling God’s life–giving breath. I thought of Genesis when God breathed His breath of life into Adam’s lungs. Oh, I wished I could go on breathing the literal breath of Jesus Christ forever. The more I breathed, the more my torso rose without any muscular effort from me, until I was sitting bolt upright, eyes turned heavenward. I tried to explain what was happening to my prayer ministers without losing a drop of this pure, delicious air, and they said they were feeling the same thing; that Jesus was right there among us, breathing into all our lungs!

After a time, I sensed my “Breath of God” experience ending, so I reluctantly consented to move on in prayer. But before we could do anything, I experienced yet another extraordinary phenomenon, this time one I have seen before in others, but never expected to happen to me. I was completely overcome with hilarious, joyful laughter! I laughed uproariously! This was described to me once by someone as ‘Holy Laughter.’ All I know is that it was so much fun, so joyful. Oh, it was terrific! A real Gift from the Holy Spirit!

We moved to month 9, and all I sensed was total blackness. Absolutely nothing at all. This was later explained by my mother, who said the doctors who delivered me decided to heavily sedate her to make it easier for them to help bring me into the world. They used so much sedative that I was born sedated, without crying or anything. That explains the heavy blackness. When we finally moved into the actual birth prayer at the end, my face broke out into an irrepressible smile, ear to ear, signaling to me that I was truly healed. It was great. Jesus healed me. Just like He promised the day before that He would. The Lord always makes good His promises to us!

If you haven’t had ‘Conception to Birth’ prayer, I can only ask — What are you waiting for??? DO IT!!! Why waste another day?